A Very Steeler Christmas

By: Jason Majercik, AFCNT.com writer

Ho Ho Ho……It is that time of year again when I find myself in a giving mood. Though ironically, the consensus was that Christmas had already come early for the Steelers back when the schedules were announced for the 2009 football season and the defending champions drew as easy of a bill as they did. That didn’t work out very well for us did it? Well, now that the holiday season is officially upon us, here’s hoping that these gifts work out a little better for their Steeler recipients.

Kevin Colbert – A job with Bill Cowher. Rumors have been circulating all over the internet and the talk show circuit that if Bill Cowher is to return to coaching next season that Colbert will be following him to whichever team he ends up with (likely the Carolina Panthers). As Steelers GM for the last nine years Colbert has done a tremendous job, two more Pittsburgh Steeler Super Bowl championship rings evidence that. Yet as much as the Steeler fan in me does not want to see the man go, Cowher and Colbert have had a great chemistry working together in the past. So it is in the spirit of giving that I grant Kevin permission to depart for what he deems to be greener pastures.

Bruce Arians – He can have his pick between the offensive coordinator’s position in either Cleveland or Detroit. Maybe coaching for a team that does not hold any postseason aspirations is exactly the fit that Bruce needs at this point. Yes I know, Arians already has won a Super Bowl here, in just his second season in charge of the Steeler offense no less…..So see, both the Browns and the Lions should be thrilled to have him!

Pittsburgh Steeler special teams coordinator, Bob Ligashesky. – ’nuff said

Ben Roethlisberger – The respect that he deserves from all of his teammates. Aside from the much ballyhooed spat with Hines Ward from a couple of weeks back, the rumor mill according to one source I’ve tapped is that a divide is present between Ben and many of his other teammates also. Whether this friction stems from that week he spent out of the lineup after his head injury, the largely discredited rape allegation that still hangs over his head, or an inflated ego on Roethlisberger’s part, is unclear. But the fact is, as quarterbacks go, few in the NFL can match resumes with the 27 year old, two time Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers QB. And every member of the team should acknowledge that.

Hines Ward – A better understanding of the human brain and the fragility of it

Mike Wallace - AP Photo/Gene Puskar

Mike Wallace – Continued improvement in his Sophomore season. Wallace had a supberb rookie campaign in 2009, punctuated with his Santonio-esque catch as time ran out to lift the Steelers over the Packers in week 15 and keep their slim playoff hopes alive for at least one more week. If he continues his improvement and settles in to the Steeler offense next year at the same rate he did this season, expect big things from Wallace soon as one of the top receivers in the league

James Farrior – About five years back on his old radio show, Mark Madden, while speaking of the incomparable knack for managing talent the Steeler organization has always had, made the point that when giving up on or otherwise letting a player go, it’s better to do so a year too early than it is a year too late.  Most would have to agree, that aspect of talent evaluation is one in which Steeler management has always excelled. That being the case, I think it is becoming apparent that James Farrior’s time has past.  While he has had a great 13 year career as a New York Jet/Pittsburgh Steeler, with two Steeler Super Bowl rings over the last four of those years, Farrior has slowed a step. Next month James will turn 35 years old and while he is still a serviceable Linebacker who does not embarrass himself on the field, a graceful retirement should be in order for Farrior.

Chris Kemoeatu – A better than adequate supporting cast of Offensive Lineman for next season. That and a trip to Hawaii for his 1st Pro-Bowl selection at the end of this season.

Darnell Stapleton – A healthy recovery for 2010. Stapleton and Kemoeatu sounds a lot better than Essex and Kemoeatu. (Note to reader: don’t be fooled, the person who gave this gift was really Ben Roethlisberger in a Santa suit)

Trai Essex – A new career choice

Troy Polamalu – Talk about a difficult man to buy for? What do you get for the man who has everything already? All of the talent in the world, the kind of attitude that more hot-shot, self-promoting NFL players of far lesser skill should try adopting for themselves, even his own soup commercial, what more does the best safety in the game need?  Aside from an injury-free 2010, how about a street or a nearby town named after him? After witnessing the effect his absence has had this year on the entire team defense, maybe we should change the name of the city from Pittsburgh to Polamalurgh.

Rashard Mendenhall – A full season as the Steelers starting halfback. Rashard will have over 1,000 yards rushing this year and for 2010 he should get his full season as the featured running back in a high powered, pass first offense. Between the way Mendenhall runs, and the element of surprise that such an offense will consistently afford him when he is given the ball, I see no reason to expect less than 1,300 yards on the ground next year from Rashard.

Willie Parker – A phone call from Jack Lambert so the Steeler legend can tell Willie to be thankful that all his turf toe injury cost him was his starting spot in Pittsburgh, it didn’t end his career completely.

Dennis Dixon – An official promotion to backup quarterback behind Ben Roethlisberger, heading into next season. And unless we improve our offensive line in the off-season, Denny had better be ready to step in at a moment’s notice.

Charlie Batch – A job as a Quarterbacks coach somewhere in the NFL.

Aaron Smith – Recognition as one of the top Defensive Ends in football.  While Aaron is beginning to earn consideration/recognition around the NFL, as one of the better Defensive Ends in the league, too many people still underestimate him. Maybe if he celebrated every tackle he made as if it were the game saving stop, he would draw more attention to himself…….on 2nd thought Aaron, don’t do that, just give him the respect already ok fans?

Brett Keisel – (See Aaron Smith)

Tyrone Carter, Ryan Clark, – A game tape of Troy Polamalu in action and a mandate for them to watch it on an endless loop for 48 hours straight. Of course, Carter may not find this gift as useful, since once Troy returns from the injury that severely limited his play this season, Tyrone will be spending most of his time on the bench if he even returns to the Steeler team at all next season.

Ike Taylor, William Gay and Deshea Townsend – Troy Polamalu back in the lineup to make up for their deficits. Oh yeah and an interception too.  You know, like real Cornerbacks are known for making from time to time. A full 14 games into the season and the Steelers cornerback position still has 0 interceptions for the season. So Ike, Deshea and William are all one interception away from breaking out of this 4-way tie they find themselves in with me for the team lead in interceptions from the cornerback position. Though in fairness to me, I’ve been inactive for over half the season!

James Harrison – Another pro-bowl invite should be forthcoming at the end of this season, so there’s no use wasting a present on that for him. How about one of those garmin gps systems? Those are pretty neat……..

Jeff Reed – A stronger leg, one that can kick field goals longer than 42 yards with some degree of consistency.

Joe Burnett – A short memory and the ability to move past the interception that he could have made had he not dropped the ball, week 14 against Cleveland. As a rookie left corner, we may be needing you sooner rather than later Joe.

Limas Sweed – A new position because a wide receiver who can’t catch the ball is about as valuable as place-kicker who can’t kick straight (with apologies to Kris Brown).

Dick LeBeau – Hall of Fame! As a player LeBeau put up amazing numbers at his position (safety), during an era when the forward pass was far less common, as a coach he broke ground and changed the way defense was played not just on his team but across the league. Why is this man not in the Hall of Fame yet?

Mike Tomlin – A copy of the motivational book “1,001 Motivational Messages and Quotations for Athletes and Coaches” by Bruce Brown (available on Amazon). Because “We will unleash hell” didn’t go very far did it Mike?

Dan Rooney – Super Bowl ring number 7. Not this year but don’t worry Dan, the cream has a way of rising to the top and the Steelers do it more frequently than any other team in the NFL.

Steeler fans – A reality check, not every year is going to be a Championship season. So now is not the time to panic. Just draft the best available offensive lineman and defensive back, fire the offensive coordinator, the special teams coordinator, the defensive back coach, the strength and conditioning coach, the director of marketing, the ushers in sections 135 and 216 and pray for a healthy Troy Polamalu next season. Don’t worry, next year we’ll be just fine.